Slithershanks on property
01 May 2014
A man’s home is his castle, but even castles can fall into the moat from time to time. The astute property investor always knows how to protect himself from the vagaries of international asset volatility, not to mention global warming and re-runs of the Logies. Fortunately property prices never go down (except for when they fall, which is actually quite often). I hope that has cleared matters up.
Fortunately, a few aphorisms have kindly been supplied to me by Slithershanks’ real estate agent. These can go a long way towards protecting the unwary from whatever it is that the unwary should be protected from. Mostly real estate agents, as it turns out.
1 In the property game. no good deed goes unpunished. So make sure to get in first.
2 Virtue is its own reward, which in real estate is of absolutely no interest to anyone.
3 In today’s property markets, the rich get richer and the poor get younger.
4 Man is the only creature that blushes. Or needs to, especially at auctions.
5 There are two types of property investment, those that provide low returns and those that provide spectacularly low returns.
6 Property analysts are people who use numbers to systematically come to the wrong conclusion and the right management fee.
7 A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, especially if it involves the footnotes to a house contract.
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