Chick magnet avoids bird flu
05 December 2013
Today we have a quiz and a few classified ads. First the quiz:
What does SMSF stand for? Is it:
a) Succubus Martes Solipsis Facto, which is Latin for Succubus Martes Solipsis Facto;
b) Some Mostly Silly Fund which is not Latin for anything, as far as I know;
c) One man croquet played by a flamingo;
d) All or none of the above.
Answer: Sorry, the advisory program has crashed, we’ll have to get back to you.
Why did God invent the Help Desk? Was it because:
a) He was trying to show people what eternity feels like;
b) He thinks going insane listening to recorded music is good for the soul.
c) He doesn’t believe in life before death.
Answer: We have put in a call to the Help Desk and are expecting an answer any century now.
Question 3. What is the meaning of life? Is it:
a) All of the above;
b) None of the above;
Answer: Obviously we are having problems with that question too, and have logged a call to the Help Desk. Actually, it is a bit unfair to call it a Help Desk, because they ring back, occasionally have something intelligent to say, and, in at least one recorded case, have actually managed to help someone.
CHICK MAGNET seeks immuniation program with a view to avoiding bird flu.
STOCK VALUATION seeks stock price with a view to making beautiful music. Must have own trading range.
CHIEF FINANCIAL Officer wishes to meet Chief Operating Officer to work out whose title is more impressive. No fleas, please.
CHIEF MARKETING Officer, obviously cut out of the loop, seeks Chief Human Resource Officer for all night bender. Must have own body parts.
CHIEF HOLISTIC Solutions Officer seeks Chief Triple Bottom Line Capability Uplift Manager to figure out what the hell we are supposed to be doing.
THRILL SEEKING politician wishes to hang out around bribery scandals or other disasters with a view to hearing nothing, knowing nothing, and not knowing anyone who knew, saw or heard anything. God, this should be fun!